Road Trip!

My brother and sister-in-law are awesome. They have reserved 2 rooms at this nice little abode in Indianapolis. It's just an overnighter but it will be good to see Ken, Kathy, Melody, Joy and my mom..I also feel like God is going to do something cool. I don't know what. I just have a weirdness in my belly...I'm nervous and I don't know why kind of thing. He does cool stuff everyday - just waking up in the morning is a cool God thing...But I dunno...Maybe He has something extra neato misquito in mind. :)

We'll see!

At the very least it will be a blessing to get away for a bit! I'll miss my church family tonight and tomorrow but will look forward to the Podcasts.

A word of encouragement

As if I am not spoiled already...God sent my friend Marie to me today. She called out of the blue saying she was in my neck of the woods for a job interview. We met at Front Porch for a brief get-together. We updated one another and talked about God stuff. Before we parted ways she simply said "Helen, you are exactly where you should be. God is using you and your gifts for his glory". This comes after a couple of weeks of battling old tapes and doubts in my head. But not once during my conversation with Marie did I even hint at this recent battle. In fact I have been in a pretty good place today. So I know that this was something God wanted me to know. I love Him. Love Him Love Him! And I thank Marie for being such a wonderful friend and vessel of God's love!

Reversal

Remember in the first Superman movie when Lois Lane died in the earthquake? He flew out and orbitted the Earth backward until before it all happened.

I want to do that.

A pensive goodbye.

We said goodbye to Dave today.

It is one of those days that I'll never forget. It seems to have dragged on. But it has gone quickly at the same time. It has reminded me how short life is. And it has reminded me how much I don't understand life.

So many times today I tried to just return my mind to an understanding that life is simple...We're born, we live, we die. The point is to enjoy it all. But I know that this is not completely true. No matter how valiant my attempts to keep it simple, my brain just doesn't work that way. Like a child who takes apart a toy just to see how it works, I can't stop myself at summing it all up with "Life is short - have a beer." Nice sentiment, I know Dave might have appreciated that. :) But I think he might have agreed that it doesn't suffice.

Today I faced again the contradiction that we seem to live in. Life in this world is temporal. I am taught by my Father not to cling to it because there is much more. Yet I seldom really want life here to end and I mourn for those who leave it. When it is threatened I strive to save it even though I realize that there is life beyond it - one that is promised to be more extravagant and blessed than I could ever imagine. This life is but a shadow of what God promises to have in store.

Maybe that's just it. With all of the evil and pain in this world there is still something beautiful about this place and the people in it. Even this shadow of God's ideal is something to be appreciated and loved and held onto. Maybe the clinging that God discourages is one that clings as if He has nothing more. And he does. More than I can ever imagine. It is something worth giving up everything for.

I am still processing my thoughts on Dave's passing. I don't know if God called him home at this time because it was always meant to be. I don't know if something just went wrong in this broken world and God met him in that tragedy and walked him home - Himself feeling the pain from a world still in the throes of a spiritual war.

But I know death was never in God's will for us. It is a work of the enemy - an echo of the curse from so long ago which still resounds; Because we live in this strange place of the "already and not yet" of Christ's victory. The war was won but the battles still go on until the last day. How do I wrap my mind around all that?

It reminds me how small I am in comparison to all of the universe. It forces me to either trust God or depend on my own understanding. Considering that leaning toward human thoughts and the devil's deception was what led to the reality of death in the first place, I choose to trust God.

But my heart still hurts. And I still wonder - did this really have to happen?

Downtown Brown

Vlog! It's been forever since I have done one of these...Come along on my hair color adventure (??)...

You never know...

DAVE EDWARDS

(and son Brady)

Dave was 31 years old. He was one of the most decent human beings I have ever met. I would never have guessed that the last time I saw him would be the last time...He died early this morning after what should have been routine surgery.

I'm stunned along with everyone else who knew and cared about him.

He will be greatly missed.

That's what love is...

These lyrics from David Phelps say it all...They touch me and speak to me...

...And make me realize how very far I have to go...

THAT'S WHAT LOVE IS

It’s the only thing worth life and death.
It’s the first moment and the final breath.
It’s a broken heart keeping a solemn vow
And a lost soul being found.
You pray for faith when it’s hard to believe.
You choose to stay when it’s easy to leave
And when hope is gone you’re the one who keeps holding on.

Chorus:

That’s what love is
When you give until there’s nothing left
And it makes you give the very best.
That’s what love is.
It can make you laugh and make you cry.
It can let you down and lift you up so high
When you find the only reason left to live.
That’s what love is.

It’s the dream you give up for someone else.
It’s being strong when you’re weak yourself.
Though it tears you up you trust again.
Hatred loses and forgiveness wins.
You turn your cheek when you want to fight.
Sell all you have and lay down your life
And when hope is gone you’re the one who keeps holding on.


It’s reaching out and holding on so someone else will know.

Love is in the not letting go.

Holy coincidence, Batman!

Last week I traveled to my alma mater, Northern Kentucky University to take some photographs. I am currently working on a script which largely takes place on the campus of a college. This script is my God-Sized Dream, so I'm diving right into preproduction. Even if it takes 20 years to produce, I'm starting now with location scouting.

There has been some interesting "weirdness" that has accompanied this script and not worth going into at this time, but this has to be the most blatant "Godsequence" in all of the weirdness thus far...

I was pretty much done taking pictures and I was heading to the parking lot when I noticed that there was a sculpture in front of the campus library that was not there in my day (I graduated in 1996 - OUCH!). As I drew closer my jaw about fell on the ground.......

In the story the protagonist has a recurring nightmare in which he wakes up inside a small shack with wooden-slatted floors and walls. His wrists are tied and his ankles have shackles and chains. The door to the shack sits ajar. Even though he could walk out of it (he is not chained to the floor or wall) he does not. (to find out why you'll have to come see the movie when it's out - lol!)

ANYWAY...




Here are photographs of the sculpture at NKU:
It is noteworthy that I originally envisioned him in more of a cage-type configuration but I added a graffiti element and I obviously needed a place for that so I placed him in a small shack.

Guess what will be making an appearance in the film!

I'll take this as a "you're on the right track" message. :) :)

God amazes me regularly...Yet, I am still always amazed!!

Bubbles, everyone, bubbles!

This is a repost of a blog that I wrote a couple of years ago...I was remembering this recently and thought it would be fun to relive this experience as it is one of those stories that you look back on and just shake your head. :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

August 31, 2006

Journey with me to the interview I had today! It was with a Preschool which shall remain nameless for its own protection and all names have been changed.

This lovely Thursday morning, I traveled over the river to the corporate office of the Preschool That Must Not Be Named (Heretofore known as "PTMNBN"). Upon entering, I observed a girl - I am assuming is the receptionist - sitting at her desk, but on the floor next to her big comfy desk chair. She was talking on the phone. She was discussing the crap someone keeps pulling, how tired she is of it and what she is going to do to prevent it in the future. She barely acknowledged me. I stood there for a couple of minutes and then another lady came out of an office behind the front desk. She was quite friendly and introduced herself as Donna. She took me into her office, confirmed my name and asked me to have a seat.

"How much time do you have today?" She asked.
"I'm not on a schedule," I replied and handed her my teaching portfolio.

She said thanks and said she would look at it while I was watching the 3 videos they had for me to view.

"The first video," she explained, "talks about how the program at PTMNBN works and what is expected of every employee."

I nodded.

"The next one talks about the after school program and the 3rd video shows an example of a teacher implementing our program's curriculum."

She said that after I watched the videos and took the quiz, they would take me to observe at one of the schools and then do an interactive observation of me with the kids.

Note: This is the point in the story where Denny and Steve said respectively "Why am I thinking Kool-Aid?" and "Cult-cult-cult" :)

I agreed to the process..It seemed appropriate and fair. Donna handed me the policy manual, the after school teacher rules and the post-video quiz. She brought me into a room with 2 other girls who were already watching the first video. She apologized for the bad quality of the video which was rolling and fuzzy and assured me they were working on making one that looks better. I settled in to catch up on the video and look over the policy manual.

It did not take long for me to suddenly feel like a 15 year old girl scout watching a "How to babysit properly" video. The owner of the school was sitting there on the screen going page by page through the employee manual...laboriously, point by point...And I must note that this manual includes explanations such as when to change a diaper, how to speak to children and the especially helpful nugget: How to read a book outloud to kids:

"Be sure to hold the book out to the side, facing outward so all the children can see it...and ask questions about the book such as 'what colors do you see?'"

I was desperately trying not to let my jaw fall onto the table...and trying like mad to calm my ego and remember that I should be humble...But really, C'mon! Aside from having enough experience to know these basics, even when I DIDN'T have experience I knew how to read a book to a child.

Next we were told we ALWAYS had to be bubbly and warm and always had to smile because children love to see smiling adults. Yes, the phrase, "Be bubbly" is in their employee manual. My hackles were going up by the minute despite every effort to talk them down.

Somehow I made it through the first video. Determined not to jump ship prematurely, I had great hopes that the 2nd video would be better - Hopes that were quickly doused.

This one was hosted by a girl who proceeded to tell us how to wear a name tag so that parents know who they are talking to. "See mine?" (camera closes in on her name tag) "It says 'Teacher Becky'... She explained that we should have our activities and lessons prepared before hand "so you're not standing there cutting out art projects while the students wait."

At this point I zoned out. I was busy trying to decide whether to stay or go. I thought about the $12/hr. that I would be paid. Then thought about the $150/hr in therapy that I would need to survive this place. I decided that I was not yet at a place of desperation. It wasn't worth it. I had to plan a graceful exit. Do I pretend Denny called with an emergency? Do I simply say "something has come up - can I reschedule my interview?" There must be some way to get out of there with my dignity intact.

Calmly, I gathered my things and said "so long" to my fellow inmates. I went into the office and quietly put the paperwork on Donna's desk - realizing now that the owner of the whole blessed PTMNBN franchise (and illustrious hostess of the first video) was standing there with Donna. Donna asked me if I was done watching the videos.

"I don't think this will be a good fit." I said and smiled apologetically. "Could I just get my portfolio?"

Donna looked at me in surprise and sayid "Oh, OK..." She handed me my portfolio. "was anything wrong?"

"No," I said "I just don't think it's a good fit...but thank you."

The owner introduced herself and said "I have to know...what didn't work for you?"

Do I tell her that I felt insulted and condescended to? Do I offer the constructive criticism she seems to want? Maybe it will help?

Nah.

I start for the door and say "I just don't think it would work out".

The owner pursued me to the exit asking me to explain. Finally I paused at the door, looked at her as sincerely as I could and said "I don't think I'm bubbly enough for you".

That stopped her short...she smiled and nodded and kind of shrugged. I gave her a wave and smile and booked it down the steps to the safety of my Saturn.

Kool-Aid indeed!

SHEESH!

More Groovy linkage

I like this guy!

Dave Emerson Root - LayHands.com

And this is a good site, too...

In Your Bible

Enjoy!

I've been perusing Dave Root's site for an hour!

Remembering Richard Jeni...

On March 10, 2007,
we lost one of the funniest comedians to ever come our way.
Thought I'd take a minute to remember why he was my favorite...

Here are 2 clips from his Showtime special "The Boy from New York City".

Rated PG-13 for language. :)

Nothing but love songs: (his rendition of "The wreck of the Endmond Fitzgerald" is classic)



scary naked people at the gym: (You'll never want to sit in a public hot tub again!)



My prayer is that God met Richard before he died. I pray he found the peace he needed from

the demons that haunted him and led him to take his own life.

Comedy sho' ain't the same without him.