Lump of coal

It was cold out. I'd been inside all day and so had the mutts. Denny said I should take Sketch for a walk. He was restless. After a little while I decided Denny was right. So I bundled up and took Sketch, all bouncy and excited, for a stroll around the block. As we were turning onto Overlook there was a man coming toward us and as usual Sketch yapped at him. I smiled and said "Sorry" and then shushed Sketch. As the man passed us he said with a nasty tone "You should be sorry."

It was so mean the way he said it. I felt like a child who had been scolded by a bully teacher. I wanted to say something back but tried to take the high road and retorted "God Bless you!".

I'm sure that was effective.

The next part of my journey was all about the cognitive dissonance in my head. I thought of all the things I could have said. I tried to tell myself he'd had a bad day and after all, Sketch probably did startle him. Still. He didn't have to be MEAN. I had apologized. I had smiled at him. I told Sketch to stop. But, like I said, his comment yanked me back to childhood. I was mad that I was 36 feeling like I was 9.

Then I heard a small voice. It said "Give it to me".

I'm getting better at recognizing my Heavenly Father's voice. And that was it. In my spirit I ran to him and said that I wanted to let it go, I knew I was being ridiculous. But he was mean to me and I didn't deserve it! (boohoohoo!)...

"Give it to me," He said again.

So I stopped my blubbering and relaxed. I let go and had this image of the words the man had said being taken from my head in a little stream of smoke (pardon the sacrelidge, but if you're familiar with how Dumbledore removed his memories for the pensieve in Harry Potter, it was kind of like that). The words left from the right side of my head.



A moment later I had an image to my left side of a hand giving me a very large jewel...A diamond or a crystal...A beautiful, clear jewel that had been formed out of that lump of darkness. I was so taken by it that I forgot all about what the man had said. I forgot how dumb I'd felt and I forgot about beating myself up for letting it hurt me as it had. I marveled at how God is willing to help us with even the most insignificant of things. Somewhere I even found the words to bless the mean walking man.



Yeah. My God is way cooler than any other...He makes jewelry out of junk!

Who should lead this country?

I had just stumbled through a prayer for political things. Things I really just don't know all that much about - including how God really feels about politics and our current presidential election. I sense this is an important time in our history. I sense that there is someone God has in mind and I sense that God might show up in the middle of all this and make all of us drop our jaws. I pray for that and I pray for a huge healing in our country. Still, it all seems like so much. Just when I think I understand or I think I know exactly what God would want, I find out that I don't. So needless to say it was a really ineloquent prayer. I felt kinda stupid. Words had failed me.



Just after I finished it, there was a message in my gmail inbox.

This is what it said:

I don't concern myself with matters too great or awesome for me.
But I have stilled and quieted myself, just as a small child is
quiet with its mother. Yes, like a small child is my soul within
me. O Israel, put your hope in the LORD -- now and always.

Psalms 131:1b-3

How about them apples???

O, America....Put your hope in the Lord!!

I'm laying down my thinker on this one. I'm just gonna walk with my Jesus. He doesn't need my flowery words or my input here. As hugely important and overwhelming all of this is I don't need to fret. I never do. I just need to trust and press into the One who redeems and the One who wins.


Thank you, Father!!! I know you're going to do something cool. Maybe you'll bowl over all of the candidates with your Spirit in their lives. Maybe you'll transform hearts that we'd never imagined would be transformed. It started here today with mine. It was troubled and now it is free. I'll be here with my "Go, God!" banner. And I'll wait for your direction. Let me know if I can be the water girl or bring you a towel! Your daughter, Helen

Knight Rider does Dallas

We tuned in last night to be complete geeks and watch the new Knight Rider series movie. I watched this series faithfully as a kid and was looking forward to some good, old-fashioned 80's-like fun with a modern technology twist. Dream on!

Within 5 minutes we were introduced to our first protagonist: a man in bed with not one, but two women! Yeah - he's sooo cool.

This segued into a shot of a bikini clad woman hosing off her breasts on the beach.

Then to a scene introducing us to our other fearless hero: a female cop who is bidding farewell to a woman in her bed who she'd met the night before. Woohoo!

What awesome people to call heroes! They have no respect for themselves but by golly, if there's a bad guy out there these two will get 'em!

We turned it off. If we'd wanted to watch the devaluing of the gift of sexuality we'd have visited the Hustler store.

Sigh.

Open Arms

I am beginning to believe something that I once would have found totally preposterous... Could it be that while we're all responsible for accepting our own salvation, that everyone is already forgiven?? I grew up believing that to "repent" meant to ask for forgiveness. But it doesn't. It means to turn back. In Christian-ese it is used to mean turning back to God, following His ways, living our lives in the footsteps of Jesus. Forgiveness has already been given. To everyone. In pratical terms, if I have to ask for forgiveness for every infraction I make in my daily living I am in deep doo-doo. I'm bound to miss something somewhere. God knows this.

I keep finding Scriptural examples:

Romans 5:8

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

His forgiveness was given to us AS we were sinners, before we were "saved".

When Jesus was dying on the cross and the people were ridiculing him, killing him and in essence spitting on God, he said "Forgive them, they know not what they do". None of them asked for Jesus to do that. He simply did it.

In the story of the adulteress who was almost stoned to death (John 8) she does not ask for forgiveness. The only exchange that she shares with Jesus is this:

"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said.

"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared.

"Go now and leave your life of sin."

Jesus did not condemn her. He instructed her to leave her life of sin, but her sin was not punished in His presence.

The act of being "saved" is the act of accepting that forgiveness and then living in it. Sorta like having a present given to you. You have to open the present to actually partake of the gift, but the gift is there whether or not you open it.

One of my favorite Christian writers, Rob Bell, writes in his book "Velvet Elvis" that Hell is full of forgiven people. And that is the tragedy of it. They never had to live in eternity separated from God. But something obviously kept them from knowing the truth of Who God is.

As the author of "Praying Effectively for The Lost" says, people don't accept this gift or believe in the work done on the cross because they are deceived by the enemy. They are wrapped up in strongholds. God knows this. He knows the hearts of everyone.

All of us have darkness in our hearts. The only thing that separates me from Charles Manson is the blood of Jesus that I have allowed to cover me. I cannot earn through my own effort enough goodness to be able to stand in the perfect presence of God. He is 100% light and in Him there can be no darkness - Not Charles Manson's huge blot of filth nor my less glaring but still dark sin of pride.

That was the whole point of the mosaic law. It's instructions are good and illustrate righteous living. But God instituted it in order to show the futility of it. We will ALL fall short. Every single one of us. That includes Mother Theresa and Billy Graham and the woman down the street who wouldn't hurt a fly and who gives her money to charity.

It's not that righteous acts aren't worth doing, they are. People who lived rightly on Earth may well enjoy "better benefits" in Heaven. God makes those determinations. But good works will never make me equal in goodness to God.

In the same passage about the adulteress Jesus says:

You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one.

This tells me that our human idea of justice greatly differs from that of the Kingdom of God.

Clarity here - I don't think that we should do away with the justice system. God instituted government and we must comply with the laws of our land. But maybe we're not supposed to confuse human justice and divine justice. Here on earth we are given permission judge human actions and bring about earthly justice. But the more I study scripture the more I see that when it comes to judging men's hearts and what people deserve eternally we all have to step aside and shut our yaps. Because God will use the same measure against us as we use for others (Luke 6:38).

Coming to this understanding has been very difficult for me. It is painful for me to accept the kind of grace that God gives. I often find it hard to forgive myself of things God has long forgotten about. I also want to see "bad" people rot in hell. I don't want to see God forgive people who do bad things. But He does. And he punished Jonah for having the attitude that I do. He wants NO ONE to live in eternity without Him. The Bible is full of examples of this. And all it takes is for someone to turn to Him and call His name...Call upon the name of the Lord and be Saved. That's IT. And they will be saved. No matter their past.

Now back to asking for forgiveness...I believe that this happens by default. A deep regret happens in the heart when someone realizes how mind-blowing God's grace is. Even as a long-time Christian I can't help but apologize and ask for forgiveness when I'm stupid. But maybe that part is not the point. The point isn't what I do to earn Heaven but what Christ has already done FOR ME.

The Kingdom of God is beautifully backward and upside down!

Standing in the gap

I'm in an online Book study group that just started. We are reading a book about the importance of praying for people who don't yet understand the awesomeness of knowing the authentic Jesus.

I have squirmed some with this book because it seems to place more emphasis on human effort and righteousness than on God's grace and Jesus' work on the cross.

But that's a post for another time...

Theological issues aside, the book has gotten us thinking about the inarguable importance of "going to the mat" for lost loved ones.

I am all about praying even if I think it's hopeless - because with our God nothing is hopeless. But I never really thought about what power those prayers might very well have. And before now I have kind of glossed over a lot of prayers. I don't always take the time to pray meaningful prayers for my loved ones. I send up breath prayers or "bless them" prayers. Those are good. But there must be value in really pressing in on another's behalf.

Psalm 126:5 says:
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

I started thinking one night that we just don't know everything about how eternity works...How do we know that a man might not meet God somewhere between here and eternity for one last time? I'm not talking for the "judgement"...But even before that...

Could someone conceivably have an exchange such as this?:

Jesus: Hello, John.

John: Who are you?

Jesus: I am The Lord.

John: You're real??

Jesus: I am. This is the gate of Heaven. Would you like to come in?

John: But I never believed in you...I never turned to you. I'm not supposed to be allowed in.

Jesus: I know.

John: How can I get in?

Jesus: You didn't trust my work for you but my beloved daughter Carol vouched for you, stood in the gap for you and pleaded for you. So I am opening the gate to you if you'd like to enter and enjoy all that I have for you.

John: I can just come in?

Jesus: As always you are free to turn it down.

John: I'm so sorry for never believing and for missing out of knowing you before now...I do want to come in.

Could our prayers literally offer one last chance to someone before they spend eternity separated from the only source of life that exists in the universe?

What we loose on Earth will be loosed in Heaven??

Just a hypothetical. I don't even know if it's scriptural...But it sure sounds good! :)

Gotta do what ya gotta....

OK...

I think I am a pretty tolerant mom to my fuzzies. I let them sleep under my covers, sleep ontop of my head, perch on my back and I even share my leftovers (in their own bowls, never from the table, of course). But momma has to draw the line with peeing in the house. Sketch used to be housebroken. But Bentley has been a bad influence with his unfixed, lasix-takin' self. I tried putting down puppy pads and newspaper. Bentley uses them but he also uses every corner he can find. Sketch usually goes right next to the papers...infuriating! Crating doesn't work because Sketch literally pulls the door inward with his teeth and escapes. I have confined Bentley to the bedroom when I am not here and that has worked. The problem is when I am home and he's galavanting around the house while I write, read or surf. So the decision was down to greatly restricting the movement of my beloved - albeit rotten - mutts or finding another solution...Enter Petsmart's cleaning and housebreaking aisle....Where I decided to sacrifice dignity for freedom....Yes, they actually make them:

Puppy Pampers!

Somehow I think I'll take more ridicule than the boys will but at least I'll have a dry house!

And it provides some entertainment for the felines...

Love Hurts

Tomorrow is ash wednesday. The beginning of Lent. I used to think I had to find something to give up. I have given up food items and even listening to my favorite band for lent in the past. Then my friend Elizabeth said that she sometimes adds something rather than gives something up. One year she added praying for her enemies. She took time everyday to pray for Osama Bin Laden. Ouch. That one is tough for me. But I am following in E's footsteps this year and doing the same. I won't choose one person in particular. I think I'll include people who aren't necessarily "enemies" but maybe folks like the parent we have in our program who beats his wife in front of his kids...Or the EGRs in the school office...Or Hillary Clinton who scares the bejeebers out of me...Anyone who stirs a negative feeling in me who I'd rather stick needles in my eyes than to extend love to - like Michael Vaillete (sp) who killed his family in Mason. Easy as pie to pray blessings and love over his family. Hard as hell to ask God to rain down His love on the killer.I am getting squirmy already. And I'm not letting myself get away with poking my head up saying "God bless Michael Vaillete" and then diving back under the safety of my grumbling. I'm going to try for substance.


I wonder if it's too late to give up chocolate....